Take a Chance

"Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance" 

That song is so important to me and my sister, so important in fact if I ever get married, she's singing it at my rehearsal dinner.  But more importantly, it talks about living your life with no regrets.  That's always been my goal.  And although I can't say I've always succeeded, I like to say, there's just a lot of things I'd never do again.  Thanks to a painful lesson from my dad last night, I can say one thing I will never do again - run.

I was talking to a friend this morning and he was like, "aw did you runaway with your little back pack to the park and pout?"  Not quite, but what an image of immaturity that we all probably did at one point as a child, which is exactly what I'm doing every time I've run.  I run when I'm afraid of getting hurt or just run from problems, but mainly from relationship problems.  It's hereditary.  Between my mom and dad there are 6 divorces and both of them admit to running away and not wanting to face problems.  Yesterday, with encouragement from my dad, I faced my problem head on.

I ran from my last relationship.  Not that it was right or justified, but I was hurt and scared and that's how I handled it because I just don't handle conflict.  The guy and I never talked in person about breaking up, only over email and text.  My dad asked me if this was someone I could see myself marrying.  When I responded with, "yes, that's why it hurts so much." My dad encouraged me to put myself out there.  To ask to see him.  To talk to him face to face and tell him what I was thinking and that I wanted to fight for us.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Needless to say, it did not turn out how I wanted.  Last night was filled with tears, a sleepless night, and more tears this morning.  On one hand, at least it made the break up for solidified and real, and I faced one of my biggest fears!!  I didn't runaway.  I knew I was going to be rejected; knew I was going to be hurt and didn't give up.  But I also hurt the man I love in a way he couldn't move past.  (One of my girl friend's read this and thought it implied I cheated.  I didn't.  He and I had fought before and I walked out.  He asked me never to do that again.  And he couldn't get over me packing up all my stuff and walking out again.)  He admitted he couldn't fight for me any more and if one of us wasn't willing to fight, it just wasn't going to work...

Reminds me of that book, Redeeming Love.  Ever read it?

It is an amazing story about Hosea and God's pursuit of our hearts portrayed as a love story between a man and woman.  It's a passionate love we dream for- unconditional, forgiving, unchanging, everlasting, self-sacrificing.  To be loved by Christ is the ultimate fulfillment and joy.  God is here, He is real, and He loves you NO MATTER WHAT.  The woman is stubborn.  She puts on a sarcastic front to dissuade the man, wanting to escape the pain his words cause her.  She continues to runaway, and the man continues to chase after her, being faithful to God and turning to him in times of anger.  Despite her continued coldness, he loves her unconditionally.  Just like God does for us.

May you women find the strength to face your fears and not run.  And men, may you find the strength to run after her IF that's what God is calling you to do.  Trust in the Lord and He will guide you.  I've faced my fears, now I just have to learn to do it sooner.




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