The "Friend-Zone"

One of my guy friends asked me the other day, "Lynne, why is it that you're friends with all the good guys but you never date them?"  To which I responded, "I guess it's because the good guys never pursue me."  The next day, one of the people I follow on twitter wrote: "To all the single women wondering where all the decent guys are:  they are in the friend zone- right where you left them."

So it really got me thinking about the guys that I am friends with versus the guys I date. Why am I attracted to the guys I date versus these amazing guys I call my friends?  I mean, clearly whatever I've been doing hasn't been working out..  It's not like I'm dating these horrible guys-  I'm not.  I've definitely had my fair share of bad apples but not all of my exes are like that.

I guess my purpose in writing this is just to tell other women to really evaluate what you want in a relationship and don't budge.  If you are ABSOLUTELY single, make a list of 4 things you want in a relationship and if a guys doesn't meet those four things, then don't date him.  I say you have to be single because if you aren't, you'll tailor your list to fit the guy you like.  On the flip side, if a guy is interested in you and you're not feeling it, you'll tailor the list to make sure he doesn't fit.

And to the guys.  If you have a girl that you are friends with and you have different feelings for her; Tell Her.  Don't assume that she knows how you feel, and girls the same thing goes for you.  You have to take a chance, you have to tell a guy how you feel.  A sweet girl friend of mine is going through this right now.  Personally, I can admit, I don't see myself ever outright telling I guy I'm interested in him.  But going back to my last break up, I'm learning to communicate more how I feel and talk about my feelings so I told her to go for it!

I'll keep you updated on what happens (:


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