Follow Me

 Follow Me..  That's what God asks us to do.. and as believers we say, of course we will follow you!  But what if he tells us to go some where we don't want to go?  Like Jonah being called to preach to those who will persecute his people.  So he fled.  And you know how that story goes; the whale in God's mercy gets him back to dry land; and when Jonah finally followed his calling, on the first day in his journey the entire town repented..

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to live in Dallas, 12 years now actually.  I love Dallas!  The food, the shops, the fashion... And since living here, I've fallen in love with one of the most important things, my church.  The people at Watermark have been AMAZING!  They've poured into me, encouraged me, and thanks to a bible study last March, helped me get over one of the darkest times in my life.  Helped me to receive forgiveness (:  God has been an extremely loving father my time in Dallas...  And even BEFORE I lived here I told people, "I would never move back to Houston.  I can't stand Houston.  Hate the humidity, and can't stand the traffic."

Ever heard that line, "want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans"? 

Turned out God had different plans...

My mom is one of three, and I am an only child.  This past summer we had to put my only living grandparent, my grandmother (on my mom's side) into a nursing home.  (I'm going to call her Tutu, because that's 'grandma' in Hawaiian and what I grew up calling her).  Tutu has had dementia for some time now, and it slowly became full-blown Alzheimer's.  When she had dementia, Tutu was very bitter and seeing me upset her.  There are several reasons I spectate this was the case; namely when my grandpa died she became very bitter.  My hair, skin and eye color resemble my grandfather, and I have a lot of his mannerisms because he practically raised me; so I think she related seeing me to the loss of her husband.

Once the Alzheimer's came along, Tutu had no clue who I was.  She is now like a child and needs help with everything.  She's scared and wants friends, she likes surprises (like flowers) and she needs a lot of attention.  My mother is a courageous woman and has had to take on a lot of responsibility with my grandma because she is the only one in Texas to look after Tutu.  And for a while, my mom didn't open up to me about just HOW bad the situation was.. When she did, my heart broke for my mom.. Then I went to see my grandma, and that changed a lot of things.  

All of a sudden I felt this calling to go home.. To support my mom... to be close to family.  After all, they are the only family I have... But that of course would mean moving to Houston.

Last week at the Porch, guest speaker, Afshin Ziafat referred to Luke 17:33 "Whoever seeks to save his life loses it, but whoever loses his life preserves it."  At that moment I felt like "my life is Dallas".  Like I said, I have wanted to live in Dallas since I was 15..  I have made a life here.  Great friends.. AMAZING church home.. but if God is calling me to Houston, I know there will be GREAT rewards I can't even fathom!!  And that is worth losing my Dallas life for, but selfishly I was having a hard time with that.

Some of the things I went through in East Texas were some of the darkest times of my life.  I completely got separated from the relationship I had built with Christ for a little more than 5 years before that.  The people that God has placed in my life at Watermark Church have been incredible blessings and been lights to guide me back on path.  JP, my Young Adults pastor, once said, 'being a Christian doesn't mean you never get off track.. it just means you stray from the path less and you are quicker to get back on track when you get off' (not verbatim but close).  My church family have been the people to help me get back on track;  I've grown so much in the past year because of the love, encouragement, and accountability they have shown me.  And helping me to accept God's grace in things I didn't think were possible to be forgiven.

"God will accomplish his purpose despite human behavior"  a good friend shared this with me last night... And Porch guest, Nick Vujicic reiterated that same idea last night saying, "When God has a plan, no man can get in the way."

Then I met with my community group and we prayed about it and this is a part of what was sent to me by one of them:

     In the message "Cut The Lifeboats" we were encouraged to cut away those areas of our life which still cling to the world's answers for fulfillment and security - those areas which keep our hearts from being fully devoted to God.  But at the same time, we acknowledged this can be a difficult process.  One reason for this difficulty is our extremely limited view of our life and the world around us.

But as our Heavenly Father watches us build our homes of security - watches us frantically moving from here to there, trying to climb to the top of the hill - He also sees a creation with a VERY limited view of the real world; "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9).

As seen from God's perspective, we have almost no understanding of how the little corner of our life fits into His plan or how our current problems are leading us closer to Him.  From God's perspective our view is as limited as the ant.  But, though we may not fully see or understand, He is calling us to trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Many of us are facing difficult circumstances.  We want to walk along God's path and live a life pleasing to Him, but we're not sure which direction to turn.  Our indecision is often because we only trust in what we clearly understand - and we've begun to realize our understanding is not very clear.  But God's promise is that as we love and trust Him with all our heart, the path directly in front of us will become straight - as we trust, the decisions will become clear and we will KNOW our next step!

We must truly believe that our Heavenly Father sees and hears ALL, and that He's infinitely complete in understanding.  Where we are fortunate to see a few short steps down the path, He sees the entire journey - the journey leading us "to be conformed to the likeness of His Son" (Romans 8:29), and the destination of spending all eternity praising His name.  We must keep stepping out in faith, but we must do so by leaning on Him, continually seeking His direction, and trusting the Father's view.

If that isn't a direct message from God to go down this path he's calling me to in Houston, I don't know what is.  So that's it... I'm going to follow down this path and move to Houston.  I have a great job down there that I am excited to start too.  Everything is falling into place and I am excited to see what God has in store for me (:  And I'll be near my family which is right where God wants me to be..