What's holding you back from Abundant Life

Jonathan Pokluda or JP, man does he have a heart for the young adults in Dallas, TX.  He loves on us and tells us EXACTLY how it is, whether we want to hear it or not.  But he does it in a way that we don't feel condemned because he himself has experienced the flip side of what he is telling us..

"You can always hear someone's heart if you listen."

-Joyce Meyer

I LOVE that quote..  Too often we are so consumed with our own thoughts and opinions that we rarely listen to others.  Instead, we are really just waiting on the other person to finish talking so we can continue to express our own viewpoint.  That is not listening, and that is not loving.  People will tell you everything you need to know if you just listen openly and without ego.  Plus, beyond simply hearing, you just might learn something, too.  I think this is important after JP's message last night.  He said it himself, I am sure there are tons of people that were turning red, that were getting mad and thought JP was being judgmental and trying to take away our fun.  (let me be clear that I am not one of those people)  But I think a lot of people at The Porch last night were.  They were defensive because they know that what JP was saying applied to them.  But it used to apply to JP too... He's been there.. He's seen the other side.. And he knows the difference between that and abundant life.

JP used a fishing example last night to describe how we are lured away from the abundant life and shown these things we think are important that we chase after instead.  He spent a lot of time talking about alcohol, and how it lures us from the abundant life.  He described how many of us are out on Greenville or Uptown drinking, partying, chasing after guys or girls, and living IN the things of this world.  But he described how boring that can be- going to the SAME places and doing the SAME things week in and week out?  And the next day it's never fun to wake up hungover and maybe not even remember what all you did the night before.  We aren't told not to do those things to take away from our fun.. We are told to stay away from the partying lifestyle so that we can live to the fullest.

Last night I turned to my church friends and asked them if they thought our nights of going out were bad because personally, I didn't.  I have a group of church friends that are AMAZING and we've been out a few times the past three weeks.  Sometimes we drink and sometimes we don't but regardless, there's almost always DANCING!!  We have good conversations with each other and good community and even when we eat dinner at a bar, we bow our heads to pray... We aren't out to get drunk, or hit on other people, those motives aren't there.  And for me personally, I have seen what alcohol can do to people, to me, to families, and how it can cause pain and destruction and what we do when we hang out is NOT that..

I come from a family of alcoholics-  I have them on both sides of my family actually.  Unfortunately, my love affair with alcohol began at a young age.  I was always the "good kid" who never got in trouble, always went to church, and obeyed my parents (for the most part).  But my sophomore year of high school that all sort of started to change.  Thinking back, I'm not really sure WHAT that change was.  I mean I hung out with kids from school all the time that drank and just never did it myself.  And I never really had any pressure to drink either.  It was just always this known fact that Lynne Sullivant didn't drink.. And then one day, about halfway through the school year, I just sort of started..  At first it was just something I did on the weekends, at parties with other people.  By my junior year it was something I did as an escape.  Then, by spring, it was to the point that I was bringing water bottles with vodka to school just to 'enjoy' the day, and that was after drinking the night before.  It was horrible.. And the worst part of it is I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.  I thought the people around me were trying to keep me from having fun.. I'm not going to get into all the things that began to unravel in my life because of alcohol, but I will say it was a destructive force in my life.

God had to have a purpose for me through all of that because I never once got an MPI, PI, or anything else.  I lost 7 friends in 5 months to drunk drivers, but I was never with them.  I will say that THOSE experiences of losing my friends kept me from driving after parties and what not, but I was still driving to and from school which wasn't a whole lot better.   After school probably wasn't as bad because I had to sober up before dance, but that's about the ONLY thing that could get me to stop drinking- dance.  It was the one escape that was better than alcohol for me, but unfortunately the dance studio wasn't open all night like house parties were..  So this whole cycle of binge drinking and partying continued until late in my senior year.  Then, quicker than my life spun out of control, I had done a 180 and was back on track!  I didn't drink again until I turned 21.. The entire image of my life changed: my relationships with my parents, my friends, the guys I was dating and what brought me joy.  Once I turned 21, I'd like to say I never got drunk again, but I can't say that.  I can say with out any reservation that my life and my relationship with alcohol is nothing like it was back then.   I have never felt the NEED for a drink.  I have felt like having a drink would help make me happier or help make everything the way it was supposed to be.  But I am human and I make mistakes, and I learn from them.  

My girlfriend Julia has a similar story.. And I feel comfortable sharing it because she told the story on national television. Julia and I competed in pageants together and she and I shared one very drunken night when I was 17 and she was 16..  The following year, Julia won Miss Teen Texas.   We joked around about how she needed to clean up her act or at least be more careful because now she had a state title on her head.  But just 2-3 weeks after winning the state crown, Julia relinquished the title after being cited for public intoxication at the age of 17.  But that wasn't the only thing, the fact the she had been arrested was over every major news source: local news, Fox news, CNN.  At 17 she was embarrassed, lonely, and it really changed who she was.  I saw Julia sometime later and she looked better than ever!  You could see a sparkle in her eye and just knew she had her priorities straight.  That's when she told me she was thinking about competing in Miss Texas.  

Do you know how much ridicule she was going to face?  The whispers that were going to be said when she was on stage?  But she didn't care.  She was out to share her story.  In her local interview Julia was asked something about her past, I don't remember her exact question but she didn't shy away from what happened when she was 17 years old.  She told the panel that she made a mistake when she was 17 and lost a lot of herself, but she thought that it made her that much better to relate to kids.  I mean she has the ability to walk into a school and tell these kids how alcohol changed her life, which is different then a girl going in there and saying "I've never done anything wrong, but be like me and you too can be successful".  (I am not saying the second way doesn't work, but they hear it all the time and Julia's story would be different).  Julia ended up winning that title and going to Miss Texas that summer.  She didn't get the placement she deserved, but she did get recognized for her talent as a tapper which is indeed AMAZING.  But a short time after that, Julia flew out for a reality show.  

Ever heard of True Beauty?  Ten contestants were brought to live in this house and compete in several challenges.  They were told they were competing against each other as to who could be the most beautiful person in America.  However, there were all these hidden cameras and they were actually being judged on who was the most beautiful person on the INSIDE.  Julia was the only contestant to pass EVERY single hidden challenge, and to never end up in the bottom two.  In the final challenge, the 3 remaining contestants have a photo shoot and an interview with People magazine.  When asked if she could change one thing about herself, Julia drops the bombshell that she gave up her title of Miss Teen Texas at age 17, after getting a public intoxication ticket, and the judges are impressed with her. This was the first time she actually said those words out loud and gave it truth, rather than just saying "I made a mistake when I was 17".  I had the pleasure of watching the finale with Julia and I was crying during that part because I knew how difficult it had to have been for her.  But it all paid off!  Julia won the first season of True Beauty.  As the competition's winner, Julia won a $100,000 cash prize as well as an interview and pictorial of her in the "Most Beautiful People" issue of People magazine last year.  She was ecstatic after being named the winner of the competition and hoped it would help lead to correcting the mistakes she made when she was younger.  "This is definitely the second chance that I've always wanted and I finally found true beauty, I did it," she said. "I finally found myself and I won the competition. I feel like a winner in every way possible, honestly."  And boy did she!  She's out in LA now, and I couldn't be more honored to call her my friend..  Besides, it's such an amazing story for her, especially after not getting the recognition she deserved at Miss Texas (:

Nowadays, I like a good glass of wine- whether I am at home and have a glass to relax or I am out and have a glass with dinner.  That is completely different than the lifestyle I was living in high school.  It was funny, last night this guy from church that I have seen a few times sat right across from me at dinner (there were about 30 of us celebrating a birthday).  I was one of about 15 that ordered an adult beverage, in my case a margarita.  He leaned over and said, "well I see someone was really convicted by tonight's sermon".  haha I just laughed, because honestly, a few years ago, that would have offended me.  But I knew that was going to be my only drink and I knew that we were there for a celebration of a friend's birthday, and I had no apologies for having a drink.. The guy was nice and sent me a message apologizing if the comment seemed rude and assured me he meant it as a joke.  I told him it was fine and that there was no need, but seeming how we didn't really know each other, it was a nice gesture..  Just kind of reminded me of the people at the Porch that might have been offended by JP's message.. You can watch "Distractions to Abundant Life" here from March 23rd.

And I want to remind anyone reading this, "We didn't do anything to deserve Christ's love and there's nothing we can do to take it away", I need to hear that every now and then looking at my past.  And I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me.