Love is Not Enough

I've said this before, and I'm saying it again, "Love is not enough to make a relationship last".

I never watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette, but last night some of my girlfriends got together to watch it, so I joined.  They were sweet enough to fill me in on everything that has happened this season since I don't watch.  And then I saw that Emily was coming back to speak...

My room mate also loves the Bachelor/Bachelorette so last year I heard Emily's story.  I was interested having lost my boyfriend my freshman year of college in a car accident so I wanted to watch her interview last night.  In her interview, you could tell she genuinely cared for Brad saying that she still loved him but that it just wasn't enough to make it work.  It takes respect, honesty, and time combined with that love.  What she said is true, no matter how much two people WANT to make something work, sometimes, that is not enough.

Spend time appreciating your partner for the unique individual that they are. Don't try comparing them to other people, or comparing your relationship to other peoples relationships. A relationship may look perfect on the outside, but only the two people involved in that relationship really know how things are. Instead, look for each and every little thing that attracts you or makes you admire your partner, remember these things day in and day out and in arguments as well.  Also, recognize things you don't like, red flags that may tell you this person isn't for you.

Honesty is an essential building block in a relationship. Being honest allows room for building a solid relationship that's built off of truth. Not only that, but think of you and your partner as one; think of it as each of you are halves of a whole. In that context, wouldn't you want to be honest with yourself? Of course you would, you wouldn't want to lie to yourself because that doesn't allow you to grow as a person, same goes for a relationship.

Spending time together is important as well. How can you truly become closer if you don't spend time with your partner, talking and getting to know every little detail about them? Also, when you are talking to your partner take that time to come forward and be honest with anything that may be bothering you. This includes something they do that either annoys or upsets you. It's best to let this kind of stuff out instead of holding on to it which could only cause you to explode or lash out when you don' mean to react that way. Speak about the issue in a calm manner.  

It's also important to spend some time away from your partner- for each of you to have your own lives, your own friends.  The two of you will never truly be happy if you don't both have your own 'me' time.

Let your partner know that you support them and have their back, even in public, stand up for them.  They need to know that even if no one else in the world supports them they will always have you, and you will always be there encouraging  them no matter what happens. Also, take time to do something special for your partner. You love them, so don't hesitate to show it. It can be simple expressions like writing a love note, or cooking them a great dinner and offering to give a message after a hard day of work. Little gestures like these can go along way and your partner may really appreciate them.

Lastly, this is very important because it can really ruin relationships, and that is to not be jealous. If you see your partner talking to a member of the opposite sex, smiling and laughing with them it can be easy to let those feelings of jealousy and anger flare up. However, those kind of feelings can make you seem insecure and lacking confidence in your partners eyes. If you are such a great catch in the first place, then have the attitude that there's no one better that your partner could have. You are the best, and the rest are second rate. Think of it that way, don't get too much of a big head though (there's a thin line between having lots of confidence and being conceited).

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